Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...

Is it a bad thing when you can't remember what sex feels like?  I only ask this because I feel as though I may be on the brink of becoming a monk it's been so long.

Also, is it true that when masterbation has lost it's fun your fuckin lazy?  If so, I am a major couch potato!!

HELP ME, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seeing as I have been recently disposed of by my so-called "soul mate", I find my self in a bind.  First off, I am single again.  No biggie, right?  Didn't think so.  Second, I haven't been with a woman since Easter, so I'm realativly pent up.

So, I have decided to hold open try-outs for women who seek a caring, intellegent young man, with a gentle humor and a soft touch. Applicants must be available to fill this position immediatly without having to break off any prior commitment and be willing to share themselves openly without hezitation.  Honesty is the best policy in my books.  Looks aren't required, however appreciated.  Applicants may apply in person or via email.  Please attach a picture if one is available.

Now, a little about me.  I'm 5'10", roughly 150lbs.  I work nights at a factory.  I enjoy hanging out with my friends at bars playing pool, and beer.  mmmmm, beeeeeer.   I prefer a girl with long fingernails and at least shoulder length hair.  I own my own vehicle, a 2003 chevy S10.

Please inform me if you are intrested. If you are too shy to come alone, please feel free to bring a friend, preferably female.

God, I need to get laid.

My friends keep saying that they are going to pimp me out to make some quick cash..........

I dunno about that. 

I'm pretty sure they would have to PAY ppl to sleep with me.

I need beer!